Rumor has it my mommy & daddy are gonna be gone for some reason. They don’t tell me all the details, but the good news is that one of my aunts or uncles will be taking special care of me for a few days. I can’t wait!
If we’re going to have a memorable time together, there are a few things you might want to know about me first. I’m a pretty quirky little lovey, after all.
First off, my favorite pastime is napping. During our time together, you’ll probably find me napping anywhere from 14-18 hours per day. I’m not super particular about where I sleep — sometimes it’s on the floor, sometimes the bed, other times it’s in other random places and positions.
When I’m not napping, I enjoy taking 10-30 minute walks around the neighborhood or at Happy Rock Park. Be sure to bring a poop bag or two with you, as I like to go #2 on those longer walks. I also might squat to pee 10-15 times, but I’m not at liberty to divulge whether I’m actually peeing or not. That’s a personal question.
On a side note, be sure to keep me on the leash outdoors. I know I look pretty calm & docile, but in another life I was a distance sprinter. My PR puts Usain Bolt’s Olympic Record to shame. So please, spare yourself the workout and just keep me on the leash when we’re outside.
Now I know what you’re thinking — what do I have to pee or poop, after all? Well, that’s where feeding me is important. I typically eat 1/2 cup of disgustingly cheap Costco Dog food once or twice a day. Daddy normally pours me 1/2 a cup in my bowl after I potty first thing in the morning (6-7a on workdays, 7:15-8:30ish on weekends). I normally get a full bowl of water to sip on throughout the day, too. If I’ve eaten my breakfast, Daddy pours me another 1/2 cup of food for supper, but I honestly rarely ever eat that.
Here’s a protip — I normally only eat if someone else is eating cereal or something like that. I’m all about companionship, so I probably won’t eat if you don’t eat with me. Also — I tend to go on hunger strikes right after mom & dad leave, so don’t be surprised if I don’t eat much.
One trick dad does is jingling my food bowl and then dumping some of the food on the ground for me to come and eat. Dad knows I like to keep things orderly, so he knows I won’t leave food just lying on the ground. It normally works.
After I go potty in the morning, I’m normally able to control my bladder for up to 9 hours. On weekends, though, I prefer to go out early afternoon and then right before bed at night. Just three times a day will help me take care of business outside and not inside. [I’m potty trained, don’t get me wrong, but when nature calls or I’m super-scared, I might have the occasional accident. Whoops!]
If you haven’t noticed yet, I’m extremely cuddly and affectionate. Perhaps my biggest quirk is my love for kisses. Humans call it licking — but to me it’s just a good old fashion sloppy kiss to show my affection.
At night, when you’re ready for bed, you can bet your bottom dollar I’ll be ready, too. If it’s okay with you, I like sleeping in the same place as my watcher. But I can also find a sleep on the floor or a couch if necessary. I don’t have a kennel, but I do have a severe fear of being in kennel, so spare us both the high-pitched squeals and shrieks and keep me out of small enclosed spaces.
Sometimes I get a little sassy, what can I say? It’s not that I’m mad, but sometimes I just want to feel heard. Or I want you to play with me. So don’t be surprised if I randomly singly a song full of woofs. It’s nothing personal. Sometimes I just like to let it all out. But I normally stop after a few moments (or minutes).
Finally, let’s face it, you’re probably going to leave me alone at some point during our time together. That’s okay — really. I understand. I’m an introvert dog at heart, so I could some alone time, too. When you do leave, feel free to put on my black “bark” collar. It calms me down and helps me relax while you’re gone. Don’t worry — dad took the batteries out, so it’s just a placebo effect. I don’t get shocked or anything if I bark. It just helps me relax while you’re gone. I don’t know how it works, either, but it does and that’s all the matters!
Thanks so much for being my friend during this pivotal time while my mommy & daddy are gone. I know they really appreciate it– and truth be told, I really like it, too! There’s nothing like cuddling and playing with new friends. From the bottom of my doggy heart, thank you!